They say good things come to those who wait, but the thing they always leave out is how long you have to wait. It seems to be much easier for people to wait when they know an end is coming. How long have I been waiting? For a hand holding a promise to never leave me alone. Does that thought even exist nowadays? Did it ever, in history? Is it merely a thought that defies reality without meaning to?
Those crying out in the darkness, in the light even, wish for it; but as the population grows, the harder it becomes. They say you'll get there, that you'll meet that person. But even with the internet, having a thousand people who are even minutely aware of your screen name pales in comparison to the billions of people that inhabit this confined place. My great aunt has never married. She has no kids. It is possible to not find anyone at all. I wonder, how she does it. Living with one cat in an otherwise, empty house. For so long. Sure, she had a roommate at one time but that was a long time ago, I barely remember the woman to extent I couldn't tell you the name even if I wanted to.
Do you ever feel like that? Holding on to the thought of a promise never made by a person you can only imagine meeting? It seems absurd. Even less than a dream; for dreams change so easily yet this thought remains as it is, locked somewhere in your heart. Some people find it in strange times, others are constantly haunted by it, yet even others make light of it, turning it into a dream of its own. I wonder, does that make it better? I can only imagine, that perhaps it would for as long as the dream lives. Which, also varies among people. Differences are so easy to find, for I am sure, your feelings and mine are different on anything I've said so far. You'd change one thing, or another. You differ slightly. Perhaps, I brought up a memory not of yours, but of someone else you know. So does this thought differ for everyone? Or, is it a base that can not be broken down anymore and it is simply what it is, with no room for interpretation? Maybe. Though if, you, can then you have already answered that, and you know something more than I.
To those who wish for it, love, is something to strive for. It gives a purpose, a reason. Yet while we may charge forward with it held high, we so easily forget there is another side to it. Some of us fear that side, some face it as an enemy, some reject both sides just to not have to deal with it. Pain and Fear are the opposite to Love. For it is not Hate like some so believe. No, Hate is a type of Love. For they require the same amount of effort and closeness to another person. A connection. Where Pain and Fear need none.
I have been told I'll find someone. Perhaps. Perhaps I'll find out whether that promise is but merely a thought, or a side of reality that has not shown itself to me. But I will not wait, I will tuck this thought of an unmade promise somewhere hidden...for I have other things to attend to. I've no time to wait on an uncertainty. This world has attempted to cage love in trying to solidify it, so we can grab it... Humans are indeed fools. We would only break it. Love has the power to ravage us until absolutely nothing is left, it hurts, it's terrifying...but that is love. To fight against that, to fight to avoid it, then you haven't loved. Solidifying love, means to give it a shape we would see that which ravages us to the core, and we would attack it. We would break it. Then what would happen? We would try to fix it, only to give it so many flaws, it's hardly worth it.
Hmm...
